GUILT - It's NOT Your Fault

The first feeling that many of us felt, and continue to struggle with from time to time, is guilt. Guilt over not being able to protect our children; dismayed that we didn't know what was happening; guilt because it happened right in front of us and we swear we didn't know. What you feel is natural, and with time and lots of reinforcements here, you will find that the guilt will ease. The more you learn about CSA, the more you come to realize that this is NOT YOUR FAULT ,and by being here, you are doing one of the most important things you can do for your child. Believe in him/her and speak out about it. There will be days that sleep will elude you, that you can't bring yourself to face the world, that you can't eat, drink, or much else.

 

COPING - GRIEVING - ANGER


Take your time in coping. Spend time to grieve the loss of your child's innocence. Allow the emotions to envelop you, and ride the waves that will crash you against the rocks. You will find at times you have no other choice. Some will disagree with some of this that we've stated, but from experience it seemed that the more we tried to fight this stuff and remain in control (over a situation we had absolutely no control over) the worse it was.

Allowing time to start mourning, sorting, and absorbing it's found that it can be controlled somewhat. The weapon many chose to fight this is education; read everything you can get your hands on, speak to every person that will listen about this. You will find that there is truth to the adage, "where there is knowledge, there is power." Begin an intense research on CSA and you will discover you are not alone, like you may be feeling right now. You will learn that this was not your fault. You will learn that with knowledge you will be able to stand up and fight for what you know is correct and be better equipped to stand up for your child/ren. Everyone finds different "weapons" which they use to fight this and with time, you'll find yours.

 

ROAD AHEAD


The road ahead of you is not an easy one. Please hear, and take this to heart - everything you are feeling, guilt, betrayal, anger, denial, grief, etc. is normal. You are not losing your mind; you're gaining back your child. The fight ahead is long and grueling, but if you take it one day at time (there may be times you have to take it one minute at a time and that's ok), you'll get through this and so will your child(ren). Someone said, "You can eat an elephant but you have to eat it one bite at a time." The same is true with CSA. There are stages you go through as you begin your own personal "Survivor" episode here.

 A place for non-offending parents, grandparents, and caretakers to help each other deal with the issue of a child's sexual abuse. Welcome, you will find the support you need to deal with this sensitive issue. This is a self-help group, there are no professional counselors at this site. In addition, we cannot offer you legal advice; we are not attorneys. What we can do is listen to your concerns, and direct you to places where you can receive professional help. The opinions expressed here do not necessarily reflect the opinion of the management team.